


New Year's In The Tin Box

by headinthetardis



Category: Cabin Pressure, Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-11
Updated: 2014-06-27
Packaged: 2018-01-08 08:16:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1130369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/headinthetardis/pseuds/headinthetardis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My first ever Crossover fic!<br/>Sherlock and John need to fly to Paris for a case,but following a spat with Mycroft,their travel arrangements get cancelled,forcing them to travel with MJN Air as a last resort.</p><p>Thank you to raisintheta for all of her help!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

John walked through the aisle, looking for his favourite brand of jam, when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out and saw a text from Sherlock.  
  
Come home. Now.  
-SH  
  
He rolled his eyes and put the phone back in his pocket—it was probably just an over-reaction to something trivial, like Mrs.Hudson rearranging the order of fingers in the fridge by mistake, or he had discovered the 244th type of tobacco ash and needed someone to show off to, or, heaven forbid, he was just bored. Whatever it was, it could surely wait till Jon had finished his grocery shopping. He continued walking along the aisle, when his phone buzzed again.  
  
I am not being ‘dramatic’. It is urgent. Be home in ten minutes.  
-SH  
  
John ignored his orders, and was about to stuff his phone back into his pocket, when, to his great annoyance, his phone buzzed for the third time.  
  
For goodness sake John, do you have trouble comprehending simple statements? You must come home. Now.  
-SH  
  
John knew there was no point in trying to argue with him. His jaw clenched, and his face hard as stone, he sent a reply.  
  
I am on my way.  
-JW  
  
He shoved his phone back into his coat and stormed out of the store, leaving his jam, and his hopes of a quiet evening, inside it.

                                                              ______________________

“What was so important, Sherlock?” said John irritably, entering the apartment.  
“Ah, yes-You have to book a plane.” Said Sherlock nonchalantly, reading sheet music with his violin in hand.  
“I’m sorry-what?” asked John, getting more annoyed by the minute.  
Now it was Sherlock’s turn to roll his eyes.  
“I do hope you remember that we are supposed to be in France on the first of January for a case? That series of murders in Paris? Bodies found in museums? Monsieur Roux, the sullen French policeman? Ring any bells?”

John resisted the urge to yell at him. “Of course I remember, we planned on leaving on the 31st” he replied in a strained voice, his fists clenched. “I also remember you telling me that Mycroft would arrange for us to fly there.”  
Sherlock snorted with derision “Mycroft is an old fool who is incapable of listening to reason or doing even the simplest of tasks properly.” He said sourly  
John rubbed his face as he realised what might have happened.  
“Oh gods Sherlock-what did you do??”  
“I didn’t do anything!” said Sherlock defensively  
‘It was him! My dear brother is under the impression that I am a crime solving puppet who exists only to cater to his whims and fancies. He wished my help with something that is apparently of ‘national importance’ saying that I am obliged to help him considering the enormous amounts of aid he gives me. I of course, declined, and told him that the only aid I receive from him is in the form of entertainment for he has several ridiculous characteristics that I can mock when I am bored. He, for some reason, didn’t take that very well and said that of it were not for him, we would live a very hard life indeed, to which I replied saying that I am not a child who needs his older brother to look after him. At this point he threw one of his childish tantrums and swore that he will not help me with anything henceforth.”  
 John stared at him in disbelief.  
 “I don’t believe this”  
“I know,” said Sherlock “Mycroft is such a child. I don’t understand why he feels the need to over-react so dramatically to everything ”  
“Oh well thank god you’re above all that!” yelled John, his voice dripping with sarcasm  
Sherlock put down his violin to look at John, his eyes widening by the tiniest of fractions  
“John,” he said warily “I am sensing that you are upset with me, however I see no reason as to why-”  
He was cut off mid-sentence by a now furious John, who shouted “ Of course I’m angry with You!You expect me to book a flight for New Year’s Eve two days before the 31st, and also deal with god-knows-what other hassles now that Mycroft has decided not to help us, all just because you and your brother choose to act like insolent, bratty children who throw hissy fits when they don’t get what they want!” he finished, clutching the back of the armchair and positively fuming with anger.  
Sherlock looked slightly bewildered by John’s outburst, but it was only a momentary display of emotion, as he then picked up his violin and his face returned to its usual state of non-expression.

“It is my brother who throws ‘hissy fits’. If you wish to be mad at someone, kindly do so at him. As for the flight-Yes I do expect you to book one for the 31st-how else will we get to Paris?”  
“Oh I don’t know, let me see” replied John, crossing his arms and contorting his face in mock concentration “Maybe you could just apologise to him!?”  
Sherlock looked like John had just asked him to eat a bowl of fish sticks and custard (or something equally unpleasant and bizarre).  
“I will do no such thing” he said coldly  
‘Why am I not surprised” muttered John under his breath  
‘you can try negotiating with him if you wish” continued Sherlock “but I doubt you’ll get any form of reason or logic through that thick skull of his”  
For the first time that night, John agreed with him. The Holmes brothers were both insolent, melodramatic, and stubborn as mules-neither of them was going to give in. He would be forced to make all the arrangements himself.

                                                                                                       * * * * *

“Fuchsia” said Douglas “It sounds like the name of a Disney princess”

Martin laughed “Princess Fuchsia from Far Far Away-you’re quite right! It does!” he said  
Douglas chuckled. “Okay, now your turn” he said, motioning Martin to speak  
‘hmm...” he said thoughtfully “blood orange.”  
“Ahhh”replied Douglas “good one” He was about take his chance, when Arthur entered the flight deck

“Hello chaps!” he said cheerily.  
“Hello Arthur” said Douglas “That’s a very nice Palatinate blue tie you’re wearing”  
Arthur looked down at his tie, confused. “Err sorry-what about my tie?”  
“It’s palatinate,” replied Douglas. Seeing the still-puzzled look on Arthur’s face, he added “I’m talking about the colour,Arthur.You see, me and Martin have got a little game going on. It’s called ‘Who can name the most pretentious-sounding colours’ ”  
‘Ah-brilliant!” said Arthur brightly  
‘Of course it is,” said Douglas “Now, I believe you came in here with a purpose, Arthur?”  
‘Oh yes-I just wanted to tell you that Mum is on her way here and she has that scarily happy look on her face-the one you told me to warn you about. So that’s what I’m doing-warning you!” He finished, smiling at them, pleased that he had followed Douglas’ instructions correctly. The two pilots, on the other hand, had looks of horror upon their faces.  
“Oh dear,” said Douglas “Brace yourself Martin, the grim reaper approaches”  
And at that very moment, Carolyn entered the room, smiling brightly.  
“Talk of the Devil” muttered Martin under his breath  
“And she shall appear before you in an onyx black suit, with equally dark news” finished Douglas.  
“Oh now now” said Carolyn, her cheery demeanour unfazed by their cynicism. “I have good news! Really!”  
“Oh how wonderful. Pray tell us what joyful tidings you bring” said Martin sarcastically  
“We have a booking for New Year’s!”  
“No.” said Douglas and Martin in unison.  
“But you haven’t even heard the whole thing! Just listen-”  
“No Carolyn! I don’t care if the Duke of York is our client-you cannot make us work on New Year’s Eve!” said Douglas firmly.  
“Douglas is right!” added Martin “You already made us fly on Christmas eve-this is too much”  
“What if I were to tell you that you would get paid?” asked Carolyn coolly.  
“What?” asked Martin, his voice equal parts confusion and disbelief.  
“Our clients are paying us quite a large sum for New Year’s Eve. Such a large sum, in fact, that there will be enough to cover our expenses and a little bit left over which I have generously decided to give to you as your first, and probably last, salary.”  
Martin was stunned. “So you mean to say I’ll actually get paid to fly?”

“For just this once,yes.Now do you agree?"  
“Yes,” said Marin “Yes of course!”  
Good! That’s settled then!” she said, and turned around to leave, when Douglas stopped her  
“Hang on a minute!” he said “What about those of us who already get paid to do our jobs? What is our incentive for spending New Year’s Eve in a tin box in the sky?”  
“You will be paid extra-a New Year’s Eve bonus, if you will” said Carolyn bitterly-she hated the term ‘bonus’, and she hated it even more when it was directed at Douglas Richardson.  
“Ah,” said Douglas “Well, in that case believe the tin box is ideal for a New Year’s party.”

                                                                                                                                         * * * * * 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock isn't very impressed by MJN Air.But seeing as they have little choice,he and John board GERTIE and meet it's small,and rather eccentric crew.

“MJN Air? I’ve never heard of it! And that’s saying something, because I hear about everything.So, when you come across something that I haven’t heard about, there is only one possible conclusion-it is not worth hearing about. Now do you mind telling me why we will be flying with an airline that is unworthy of my attention?” said Sherlock, peering up from behind his newspaper, one of his eyebrows raised, as though daring John to come up with an answer.  
John stood calmly, his hands behind his back, and said “Because you are an idiot.A colossal idiot who had to go and get and get all our previous arrangements cancelled, forcing me to book an unheard of airline as a last resort, because they’re the only ones available on New Year’s Eve.So, we can either take this flight and go to Paris, or we can sit here while you throw your tantrums, and watch someone else solve the case. What would you prefer?” he finished, raising his eyebrow in a mock imitation of Sherlock’s.  
Sherlock glared at John, angrily shutting his newspaper and then storming out of the room.

                             * * * * *

“Are you both ready? The clients will be here soon.”  
“Yup, all set” replied Martin. “Though you never really told us who our clients are”  
“They are two men-Mr.Sherlock Holmes, and Dr.John Watson”

Upon hearing this, Arthur gasped. “Sherlock Holmes?!Mum, did you just say Sherlock Holmes?!” he asked frantically, his eyes nearly popping out of his head.  
“Yes, I did.Why? Do you know him?”  
“Of course I do, mum, I love Sherlock Holmes!” he declared excitedly.  
“Well, there’s something we didn’t see coming” said Martin jokingly.  
“Yes, though it does explain why Arthur has had such bad luck when it comes to females.” added Douglas  
“Oh no not like that Douglas! I meant that I’m a huge fan of his!” said Arthur  
“Why? Who is he?” asked Martin  
“Only the greatest detective in the world! He’s absolutely brilliant!”  
“Of course he is,” said Douglas “But how do you know about him? When have you ever needed a detective?”  
“He’s been all over the news! Everyday there’s something in the papers about him solving another difficult case”  
“Ah, so he works with the police?” asked Carolyn.  
“No, no-he’s a consulting detective.”  
“And what does that mean?” enquired Martin  
“No idea. But he helps out the police a lot, and regular people too. He’s supposed to be really REALLY intelligent-they say that he can take one look at you and tell you your entire life story!”

“Preposterous.” said Douglas.  
“No! He really can!” argued Arthur.  
“No he can’t! That’s impossible! It’s probably just something the media’s hyped up”  
“No, honestly Douglas, he-” began Arthur, but Carolyn cut him off. She said, “Well whatever the truth guess we’ll know when he arrives, won’t we?”  
At that moment, her phone started ringing. “Ah, speaking of-looks like they’re here!”

                                                                                       * * * * *

“Hello! Welcome to MJN Air, Mr.Holmes and Dr.Watson.I am Carolyn Knapp-Shappey, the owner of this airline” said a grey-haired short woman politely, but not overly cheerily.  
“Oh, right” said John, taken aback by the fact that the CEO was greeting him personally. But he thought it best not to mention it-it might not be polite. He went with just a simple “Hello, good morning”

Carolyn escorted him and Sherlock up into the aircraft, where they saw two men-one a small redhead, and the other relatively bigger, with a more authoritative look-in pilot’s uniforms. Carolyn motioned towards them and said “These are our pilots-First officer Douglas Richardson, and Captain Martin Crieff”

‘Ah,”said John nodding towards the second, bigger pilot, ‘Nice to meet you Captain,” He was about to greet the other pilot (who now for some reason looked very annoyed) as well, when Sherlock suddenly spoke.  
“He’s not the Captain”  
“What?” asked John, confused.

Sherlock rolled his eyes-people could be SO oblivious to their surroundings. “Look at their uniforms! His has got 3 stripes” he said, motioning towards the one John had mistakenly assumed was Captain “Whereas he’s got four. And also, he’s got the more ridiculous hat” motioning to the other one “Honestly John-you were in the military, one would think you’d know your uniforms!”

John ignored the snide comment (He lived with Sherlock Holmes-if he replied to each snide comment, he would drive himself mad) “Oh, right” he said simply  
“Sorry about that, Captain Crieff,” he said to the redheaded man.But he wasn’t listening-his attention was somewhere else. He was looking at Sherlock, his eyes gleaming, and so full of reverence and gratitude, as though Sherlock was an angel sent from the high heavens to acknowledge this little man.

“Precisely,” he said, again with such veneration, as though Sherlock had just answered the question to life, the universe and everything.  
The pilot standing next to him, First Officer Douglas, held Martin by the arm and said “Excuse us, gentlemen-I fear we must rush back to the flight deck before Captain Martin’s adoration and awe sweep him off his feet-literally . I do not imagine a flight with an unconscious captain would be pleasant.” And with that, he left towards the flight deck, pulling Martin behind him, leaving a very confused John standing there with Sherlock.

“Come along sirs, please take your seat.” said Carolyn  
“Uh...right, of course” said John, finally tearing his eyes away from the direction of the flight deck.He and Sherlock then put their luggage in the overhead carriers and settled into their seats.  
“Err...what was that all about?”  
“What was what all about?” asked Sherlock, looking around the aircraft.  
“That thing with the captain...why was he acting so...peculiar?”  
“Well, it’s quite clichéd really. He’s a small man, and rather meek-looking, not the sort you’d expect to be the captain of an aircraft. His first officer, on the other hand, is burly and authoritative-definitely Captain material. Undoubtedly many people have come to the same conclusion and Captain Crieff constantly has to deal with people getting the two mixed up-like you did. He’s a little man doing a job at which he is constantly underappreciated and taunted-any sign of recognition or acknowledgement would make him very happy indeed. My observation was, to him, such a recognition, and it was apparently enough to render him-oh god you must be joking” he said suddenly, looking at the aisle.

John followed his gaze and saw a steward walking towards them. He was smiling broadly, to the point where it was almost disconcerting, carrying a tray with two cups, and wearing on his head, a deerstalker-much like the one that the media had made a signature of Sherlock’s.  
“Oh dear,” said John, attempting apprehensiveness, but failing to do so in his amusement. The steward reached their seats and said “Hello,sir,Mr.Holmes sir,I am Arthur Shappey and I will be your steward today on this journey.”

“Most exciting” mumbled Sherlock, slumping in his seat  
“Oh c’mon Sherlock, be nice” said John in a chastising manner, but still smiling.  
‘Hello Arthur” he said to the steward and taking one of the cups from the tray “Thank you.And may I say-that’s a very nice hat you have on” he said, barely stifling his laughter  
“OH, thank you, sir.What do you think, Mr.Holmes?” asked Arthur, grinning from ear to ear

“You can’t be serious” muttered Sherlock, sinking further into his seat  
“It’s such a great hat! It’s got flaps!” continued Arthur “Though I’ve been meaning to ask-what do you need the flaps for? Do they help you deduce things?”  
Sherlock straightened up, glaring at Arthur. He opened his mouth to say something (no doubt a long and insulting monologue about the disadvantages of ear-flaps and the general uselessness of deerstalker hats), when Arthur was saved by Carolyn, who came up beside him  
“I just wished to inform you that we shall be talking off in a few minutes, so kindly fasten your seatbelts, sirs” she said, and then muttered “Code Red” softly to Arthur while John and Sherlock put on their seatbelts.  
“Yes, mum” said Arthur, a tinge of sadness in his voice-he had really wanted to hear Sherlock talk about the hat! Maybe he could have also given him some tips on investigations and deductions, thought Arthur, as he and Carolyn made their way out of the cabin.

                                                                                                               * * * * *

“So,” said Douglas, as he adjusted the controls and prepared for take-off “Looks like Arthur isn’t the only on in love with Sherlock Holmes”  
“Oh come off it Douglas” said Martin “It’s nothing of the sort. I was just slightly pleased by the fact that he knew uniforms so well and that he was able to identify correctly who the Captain was. A lot of people get it wrong, you know”  
“ _Slightly pleased_? England was _slightly pleased_ when Germany lost the war.You were so giddy with admiration you had floated up to the proverbial cloud nine.”  
“Oh please, Douglas, there’s no need to exaggerate-”  
“I’m sorry Martin I can’t hear you over the sound of your inner teenage girl who is squealing with happiness that the light-eyed man with the curly locks noticed her”  
“Oh shut up and focus on getting us into the air, Douglas” snapped Martin, his face turning almost as red as his hair.

                                                                                                              * * * * *


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The flight from London to Paris isn't particularly long,but for Sherlock it's agonisingly boring.Nonetheless,he bears with it,and they reach Paris,where a surprise awaits.

 “Bored.” Said Sherlock, restlessly shaking his leg and fiddling with his seatbelt.  
“Run out of things to deduce, have you? That’s new.” Replied John, his eyes fixed on the magazine he was half-heartedly flipping through. Sherlock had spent the last 20 minutes flitting around the plane, examining every inch of it, till he finally got bored and sat down dejectedly.  
“Oh it’s just a boring ordinary airplane-well, not exactly ordinary, its condition is a lot below what most people call average-but nonetheless, it’s nothing extraordinary. It’s boring. You’re boring. Everything’s boring. I AM BORED.” he said, slamming his hands into the arm rest at the end of his deeply insightful speech. John jerked up at the sudden movement.  
“Calm down Sherlock!” he said, in annoyance. He put his magazine away and settled back into his seat, crossing his arms and closing his eyes “Why don’t you take a nap or something?” he said  
“A nap?” responded Sherlock, his eyes narrowed “What good is a nap? How is it useful to me in any way?”

“Well it would be pretty useful to me” murmured John, thinking wishfully of the peace and quiet he would get should Sherlock decide to shut up for once in his life.  
“Sleep is an absolute waste of time “said Sherlock

“Oh yes, compared to jumping around like a kid and shouting, which is so productive”

Sherlock cast John a dirty look, and muttered incoherently about the uselessness of dormancy under his breath in frustration. John ignored him, keeping his eyes tightly shut and blocking out Sherlock’s ramblings. He was determined to have a nice short nap before they landed and embarked on what would undoubtedly be a very eventful investigation.

Sherlock was apparently determined to not let that happen.

"I need something to do!” he exclaimed loudly.  
John opened his eyes and resigned himself to the fact that this flight would be a sleepless one. He straightened up and rubbed his hand across his face.  
“Why don’t you brush up on your French?” He suggested  
“Ma français est parfait” replied Sherlock in impeccable French.  
“Of course” said John, sighing.  
“Out of curiosity-when did you learn the language? Age six or something?” asked John  
“No.I learnt it the day before we left. I had other things to occupy me when I was six.”  
“Oh yes-being a fulltime pirate must’ve been very hectic!” said John, smiling broadly.  
Sherlock sighed “I really do need to tell brother dear to stop spreading childhood fables”  
John chuckled softly. “Hang on a second though,” he said, suddenly remembering something “If you learnt French just before the trip, what about that case? The one with the French delegate?You said the only way you managed to establish any contact with him was by acting like a Frenchman-how’d you manage that without speaking French?”

The upper corner of Sherlock’s mouth curled up in a small mysterious smile, as he said “I didn’t need to speak French. I took the caution of taking Lestrade along with me whenever I went to see him, so that it would seem as if I had to speak in English so as to not keep my British friend out of the conversation. Then it was just a matter of acting French.”  
“Acting French?” said John, his eyebrows raised in slight scepticism.  
“Oh yes-it just involved drawing on a moustache and talking in a French accent-it wasn’t that hard, really” replied Sherlock, his smile widening slightly.  
John remained unconvinced “You’re fibbing”  
“Well, about the moustache-yes, but not the accent”  
“No” said John, shaking his head slightly “I refuse to believe that you convinced a French delegate that you were a Frenchman just by imitating their accent”  
“Well clearly you’ve never heard my French accent.”  
“Oh go on then” said John bemusedly, leaning back in his seat, his eyebrows still raised

Sherlock, not one to bow down from a challenge spoke immediately.  
“Bonjour monsieur,Mah name is François.I zhust wished to ask yu some questions.Zis is mah idiote friend.Please co-opuhrate wiz us” he said in what was indeed an impeccable French accent, albeit a very comical one.  
John burst out laughing, while Sherlock’s face broke out into a wide grin, as he laughed as well.

“Oh Jesus” said John, breathless from having laughed so much “I’d forgotten you could be funny” he said, trying to regain his composure  
“Well, I endahvur to, monsieur”  
John lost control of himself once more, and started laughing again.  
Sherlock had seldom seen John so amused, and watching him crack up like that, Sherlock could not resist chortling himself. And at that moment, the the cabin address system came on.

*bing bong*

“Ah, and now we ‘ave our capitane Martin du Crieff!” said Sherlock, unable to stop himself.  
John’s laughs evolved into guffaws, as he bore witness to this extremely rare and unexpected display of Sherlock’s humorous side. But then again, if anyone could expose the rare and unexpected side of Sherlock Holmes, it was John Watson.

                                     * * * * *  
* Bing bong *

“Good evening passengers,” said Martin through the cabin address system “This is your captain speaking. I just wished to inform you that we will be reaching Paris in the next 10 minutes. So kindly fasten your seatbelts and prepare for landing”  
He switched off the address and adjusted the controls “Ready for landing, Douglas?”  
“I am.Unfortunately, Paris is not.”  
“What?”  
“I just had a word with ATC.Apparently, airport security has received word that our plane is carrying ‘illegal substances’ and so the minute we land, we will have to submit to a search and we will be detained till they search the plane”

“WHAT?!” exclaimed Martin “Illegal substances?!Oh dear lord, Douglas what did you do?”  
“It wasn’t me!”

“Oh right, because it’s me and Arthur and Carolyn that are famous for flouting the rules and fooling around with customs!”  
“No, really Martin-it wasn’t me! You have to believe me!”  
“Well then who else could it be?”  
“Maybe our passengers?”  
“Oh that’s just preposterous!”  
“Martin, I need you set aside your little man-crush for a while now and -”  
“Oh really Douglas! It is not a man-crush! I was just saying that it’s quite unlikely because, if you remember, our passengers help Scotland Yard! They work with the police! Don’t you think they would’ve noticed if they were some sort of smugglers?”  
Douglas though for a minute. “You make a fair point. But then who on earth put illegal substances on our plane?”  
“I don’t know...” said Martin. He switched on the intercom and called Carolyn.

“Ahh well if it isn’t Pinocchio!” she said  
"Carolyn, I have something I need to-wait, what?”  
“I was referring to your recent blatant lie about the amount of time it would take to land.10 minutes were over 10 minutes ago! What’s going on?”

“Carolyn, it’s something serious. Come to the flight deck”  
“Certainly not. Whatever you need to say can be said perfectly well on the intercom. I see no need for me to exert myself physically.”  
“Carolyn I’m not messing around! Honestly-this is very very serious.You need to come now.”  
Carolyn sighed loudly “Oh all right! I’m coming.”  
         _____________________________________  
 “Illegal substances?!Oh heavens, Douglas, what have you done?” groaned Carolyn  
“It wasn’t me!” replied Douglas exasperatedly.Honestly, they were being very unfair. He would never smuggle illegal substances…and get caught!  
“Oh really? Then who was it?”  
“I don’t know!”  
“We considered the passengers,” said Martin “but then dismissed the idea- they can’t be smugglers. They’re famous for helping the police!”  
Carolyn considered this and then said “True. But nonetheless, someone is responsible! And if it wasn’t Douglas, which I am still not inclined to believe, it might be them. We need to go out and have a word with them.”

“Yes, all right.You go ahead,” said Douglas “I’ll inform ATC to put us on hold for a while”  
“No.Martin can stay behind and do that by himself-you need to come with me.”  
“Why?”  
“Because you’re big and scary looking, a trait which might help us in a confrontation.”  
Martin scowled, while Douglas shrugged nonchalantly “Fair enough.” He said, and with that, he and Carolyn exited the flight deck.

                     * * * * *

John glanced at his watch-it had now been 20 minutes since the captain had announced that they would be landing.  
“What’s taking so long?” he muttered under his breath. At that moment, Carolyn and Douglas entered the room.  
“Gentlemen,” said Carolyn “we have some news.”  
Sherlock frowned-she was out of character-and so was the first officer.Their previous ( and what he assumed usual) looks of arrogance and authority , though not entirely gone, were interspersed with those of alarm and confusion.

“What’s going on?” asked John, who had noticed their change in expression as well.  
“Well, a slight problem has arisen.” Began Carolyn “We were preparing for landing, when we were informed that our plane (along with its passengers and crew) must submit to a thorough search by airport security immediately upon our landing.Apparently, Paris has received word that this plane is carrying illegal substances.Now, I have full trust in my crew,” the corners of her mouth twitched ever so slightly when she said this “and believe that none of them are responsible for this. Seeing as there is no one else aboard this plane, you gentlemen are our only remaining suspects.”  
Sherlock and John both groaned loudly.

“Illegal substances?!Dammit Sherlock what have you done?” said John in frustration at the same time Sherlock said “Oh Mycroft, you insufferable nuisance” in a similar manner.  
John looked up suddenly “Mycroft?” he said, his eyebrows knitted “You think Mycroft arranged all this?”  
“Oh of course he did-ah! And here he is now!” said Sherlock, referring to his phone that had suddenly started to ring.

“Hello brother dear,” said Mycroft “Enjoying Paris?”  
“Oh yes. The view is so beautiful from inside this airplane.” replied Sherlock scathingly.  
“Inside the airplane?” said Mycroft, in what was obviously mock surprise “Why, haven’t you landed yet?”  
“Oh stop your silly game Mycroft. I have no patience for it” said Sherlock spitefully. “Are you really that big of a child that you would have me arrested in a different country because I turned you down?”  
“Arrested? Heavens no, brother of mine. Just slightly inconvenienced.” And with that, he hung up.

Sherlock put away his phone angrily and turned to face the others. John took one look at Sherlock’s hardened jaw and his clench fists, and inferred what must have transpired between the two brothers.  
“Godammit” he said, burying his face in his hands.  
All this while, Carolyn and Douglas had been standing there, watching in confusion the conversations between John and Sherlock, and the phone call.  
“What the bloody blazes is going on?” said Douglas  
“My brother’s detestable and childish antics” said Sherlock scornfully.  
“Oh, not just your brother’s.” said John, standing up.

“Would you two gentlemen care to explain?” said Carolyn, her voice slightly higher pitched than usual.  
“Mrs.Knapp-Shappey,” began John, his head bowed “This may sound bizzare, but Sherlock’s brother has organised this entire...nonsense…they have this feud between them. It’s unbearable...I am terribly sorry that you and your crew have to deal with this when it’s entirely our fault.”  
“What? His brother? How? And more importantly-why?” asked Carolyn,her confusion mounting.  
“It’s...difficult to explain, Mrs.Knapp-Shappey...Sherlock’s brother holds a very high position in the government...it is entirely possible for him to arrange something like this...as for why...well,Sherlock and his brother had a sort of fight. And well. Oh sod this-I’m sorry, but I really can’t explain this.” Finished John, giving up.  
Sherlock opened his mouth, undoubtedly with the intention of giving a better (albeit a more scathing) explanation than John’s, when the cabin address came on agian .

*Bing bong*

“Uhh...everybody...I’m afraid I have some bad news” said Martin weakly “I just spoke to air  traffic control again, and they said that we will not be searched immediately upon landing.They will conduct a background check on all of the members of this flight first, during which we all must remain inside the plane.This, according to them, will take anywhere from 2 hours…to 12, or more.”  
The cabin was filled with a shocked silence.  
“Well,” said Douglas, penetrating the quietness after a few minutes “It looks like we will be spending New Year’s in the tin box after all.”

             * * * * * 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things aboard the plane are not going well,as its passengers (even with minds like Douglas and Sherlock with them) struggle to come up with a way to get out of their sticky situation.

“So his brother arranged for all this to happen? Because of some petty feud between them? But that’s ridiculous!” exclaimed Martin. They had just landed and Carolyn had briefed Arthur and Martin about their situation.  
“And anyways,” continued Martin “How can his brother even do such things?”  
“They mentioned something about him holding a very high position in the government.” answered Douglas.  
“High enough to do something like this?” he said incredulously.  
“Apparently” responded Carolyn.  
Martin shook his head, he was having a hard time believing what they were telling him. He turned towards Arthur.  
“Arthur, have you ever heard anything about this? About Sherlock Holmes’ brother? You’re the expert here.”  
“ Well there’s something I never thought I’d hear someone call Arthur.” muttered Carolyn under her breath.  
Arthur however, in his eagerness to answer the question, didn’t hear her.  
“Well, no, not really,” he said “I’ve never heard anything about a brother. They never talk about his friends or family or anyone close to him, actually. Except for John Watson, of course. I wonder why that is though...”

“ Well maybe he hasn’t got any family or friends.” suggested Martin.  
“No,” said Arthur “that’s impossible! Everyone’s got family and friends!”  
“Well then maybe it’s because he doesn’t want their identity revealed.” Douglas replied “You know-if he goes after high profile criminals, he probably has some pretty dangerous enemies. Maybe he just wants to protect the people close to him.”  
“Ahhhh of course of course” said Arthur, nodding his head knowledgeably.  
“But then why talk about John?” questioned Martin.  
“Oh that’s because he helps Sherlock solve crimes. And they live together too.” stated Arthur simply.

Douglas and a both arched their eyebrows in surprise.  
“They do? Well,” said Martin, “he didn’t seem like the type”  
“Well at least now you have a chance with him, Martin. Or at least, you would have, had it not been for old Johnny boy. It seems like your luck in love doesn’t change even if you switch genders!” said Douglas, sighing melodramatically at the end of recounting Martin’s unfortunate tryst with love.  
“Enough Douglas!” said Martin, his temper rising.  “Really, stop this ridiculous joke! I am not in love with Sherlock Holmes!”  
“Well, your swooning episode says otherwise” said Douglas, unfazed by Martin’s anger.  
“Oh for god’s sake Douglas, I did not swoon!” responded Martin hotly.  
“ Err actually,you kind of did, skip” added Arthur helpfully  
“Please Martin-” began Douglas, no doubt with the intention of assuring Martin that it was perfectly all right to be a sensitive homosexual soul, when he was cut short by Carolyn.

“ Oh shut up both of you!” she said, the annoyance clear in her voice.  
“ We have bigger fish to fry than Martin’s terrible love life!”  
“ She’s quite right!” said Martin indignantly. “And it’s not terrible...I mean, I did go to the Taj Mahal with the princess of Lichtenstein” he added under his breath “But yes, Carolyn’s quite correct, Douglas .We do have a quite a difficult situation on our hands.”  
“Precisely.” Said Carolyn. “So, what’s the plan, Douglas?”  
“ I have no plan.”  
“ Yeah,right!” said Arthur, attempting to make it sound sarcastic and cool like Douglas did, but having it come out enthusiastic and oddly happy instead.  
“Of course you have a plan, Douglas! You always do!”  
“I appreciate your unwavering faith in me, Arthur, but I’m afraid the only course of action I can suggest is to talk to talk Mr.Holmes into apologising to his brother.”  
“ Well then, that is what we shall do” said Carolyn, walking towards the exit.

Martin cleared his throat loudly, causing Carolyn to roll her eyes in a ‘what-on-earth-now’ fashion and turn around to look at him.  
“I think that I should come with you instead of Douglas.” He said.  
“ Oh do you now?”  
“Yes I do. I am the captain of this plane, and-”  
Carolyn groaned loudly-she had heard this speech enough times to know where this was going.  
“ -and I think,” Martin pressed on, talking louder than before so as to be heard over Carolyn’s frustration “ I think that he might respect me more. I’m sorry, Douglas-you’re usually the right man for this sort of thing with your burliness and your deep voice and wit and everything, but I think this time might be better suited to the job. After all, he did identify _me_ correctly as the captain, He must see that I am firm, determined, and in command.” He finished, standing up and straightening his cap.  
Before Douglas could retort, Carolyn spoke. “Martin, I am going to give you a simple one word answer,” she said, her voice somewhere between sweet old lady and the grim reaper.   
“ _No.”_  
“ But Carolyn-”  
“No means no Martin. Under less grave circumstances, I would have allowed it, if only to give myself a good laugh. But today cannot afford to do so.So shut up and sit down while Douglas and I go have a word with our dear passengers.” she said, exiting the flight deck with Douglas, and leaving behind a very sulky Martin.

                                                                         

* * *

 

“Sherlock this is ridiculous,”  
“I agree wholeheartedly, my brother is behaving like an incompetent fool.”  
“And so are you!” said John exasperatedly. They had landed ten minutes ago, and, as expected, had been warned not to leave the plane till instructed otherwise. Carolyn and Douglas had returned to the flight deck to have a word with the rest of the crew.Meanwhile,Sherlock and John remained in their seats, with John trying (in vain) to talk some sense into Sherlock.  
“ You’re acting like a bloody idiot, you know that?”  
“ You can say what you want, John, but I am not going to apologise to the pompous oaf that is my brother.”

John sighed deeply, trying to keep his anger in check. He calmed himself down and was about to make one more attempt, when Douglas and Carolyn marched into the cabin.  
John rubbed his face-they were undoubtedly here to do the same thing he had been trying to do. However, knowing Sherlock, John was certain that their intervention would only strengthen Sherlock’s resolve to do the exact opposite of what everyone was telling him to do-he didn’t take kindly to being asked to do things.

“Mr.Holmes,” began Carolyn “I understand that you and your brother have strained relations. However, what you must understand is , that I do not care.”  
“ Oh no,” said John “Okay, Mrs.Knapp-Shappey, I know you’re angry, but please-”  
But Carolyn paid no heed to John and continued. “I don’t care if he was mummy’s favourite, or if you dropped his toys in the toilet, or if he stole your girlfriend,” she went on “I couldn’t care less about this childish feud between you and your brother. All that matters to me is my plane, and my crew, both of which are in quite a sticky situation thanks to your unbelievable antics .So I kindly request you to pick up your phone, call your brother, and tell him to end this immediately.” She finished firmly.

John anxiously looked towards Sherlock, afraid that Carolyn had angered him and aggravated the situation further. However, to his utter shock, Sherlock wordlessly pulled out his phone and dialled Mycroft’s number.  
Mycroft answered, and said “Ahh Sherlock, how lovely to hear from you.I didn’t think you’d have the time to call your dear old brother once you began traipsing around the glamorous city of Paris.”  
“Let us go, Mycroft.” He said flatly.  
“I cannot without getting anything in return, brother of mine.”  
“I’ll solve your case.”  
“How wonderful. Unfortunately, it will take a bit more than that to convince me, Sherlock.”  
“ If you are the under the impression that I am about to apologise like some sincere little school boy, I’m afraid you’re going to be severely disappointed.”  
“Well, if you cannot meet my terms, then kindly do not waste my time.”

“I can set some new terms. I will solve the case you asked me to, and I’ll solve the Latvian assassination as well.”  
Mycroft scoffed at the idea “What makes you think that I require your help with that? You refused the case weeks ago, I have found other people willing to do the job.”  
“ Yes, and tell me, brother mine, have these men succeeded? Has the criminal been captured and put behind bars?” asked Sherlock testily.  
“Not yet. But he soon will be.”

“Not soon enough.You need answers before the Prime Minister’s visit to Riga next week. I can solve the case in a matter of days.”  
The line was silent as Mycroft considered the proposal.  
“You will have one day.” He said finally  
“One day is all I need.” Said Sherlock smugly.  
“And you have to take mummy to the opera.” He added.  
Sherlock’s face, which had been on the verge of breaking out into a triumphant smile, hardened immediately.  
“Absolutely not.” He said firmly.  
“That is my final offer, brother dear.”

Sherlock grimaced. He knew that his brother would not change the terms this time. Now it was his silence that filled the line as he pondered over the proposition. He could not possibly stay on this plane any longer than was necessary, but neither could he take his mother to some nonsensical opera.  
“Very well.” He said after a few seconds. He would find a way to delegate the task to someone else, probably John.  
“Splendid” said Mycroft, not particularly emotively, but Sherlock could hear him smirking.  
“Now hand the phone to John will you” his said.  Sherlock, without saying anything, thrust the phone to John, who quickly put it to his ear.

“ Mycroft.”  
“John. Just a quick order-Sherlock will, in the days to come, attempt to somehow convince you to take our mother to the opera.You must refuse firmly.”  
“What?” said John, thoroughly confused but this strange request.  
“Mycroft what are you on about? Did you and Sherlock resolve things? Can we leave this damned plane now?” he asked impatiently.  
“Yes. Provided, of course, that you ensure that it is Sherlock, and no one else, who takes mother to the opera.”  
John sighed, relief flooding his face and smoothing out the frowns and creases that the ordeal had created.  
“Yes, fine, I will .So, I expect we will be out of here in around 20 to 30 minutes?” he said  
“20 minutes? I’m afraid that’s quite impossible.”

John clenched his jaw. He knew it.He knew that it couldn’t have been that easy. When was a fight between the Holmes children ever simple?  
“Mycroft, I am sick and tired of this rubbish.You said you and Sherlock worked things out. Then what the bloody hell is the problem now?” he said angrily  
“Oh I have no problem,John.But the French are still conducting their background check. I cannot stop them from doing that.”  
John was at the end of his tether now. He abandoned all pretence of trying to reason logically and calmly and shouted into the phone.  
“Yes-the background check that _you_ ordered! You commanded it, so you can stop it!"  
Mycroft laughed dryly “You overestimate my powers, John .I did not _order_ them to do anything .I gave them a genuine tip off. They are conducting an actual check on all of you .My plan was to let them do their job, and occasionally…distract them, so that they would take a longer amount of time to finish it.Now that Sherlock has agreed to my conditions, I won’t put any obstacles on their path. But they will still continue with their work.You won’t be able to leave till they’re done. But you can put your mind at ease-without me hindering the process, it should take them only, oh I don’t know, about 6 hours.Happy New Year’s John.” and with that,the line went silent.

“MYCROFT!” shouted John in a fit of anger. He sat down and buried his head in his hands, breathing heavily as he cursed both the Holmes boys furiously in his mind.  
Sherlock, who had deduced the gist of their conversation asked “How much longer did he say?”  
“Around 6 hours.” Said John, lifting his head and glaring at Sherlock. This was all entirely his fault. His, and his infuriating bureaucrat of a brother.  
Sherlock nodded slightly, unsurprised. He turned around to face Carolyn and Douglas, both of whom had been listening intently, trying to comprehend what was going on. Even though they had not understood everything,they had inferred the end result of the conversation with Mycroft.  
“6 more hours?” asked Carolyn.Sherlock nodded. She pursed her lips and walked away. Douglas looked like he wanted to make a remark, but thought better of it and followed Carolyn.

                              

* * *

 

“And, hence, we won’t be able to leave the plane for around another 6 hours” finished John. He had just explained their entire situation, and the reasons behind it, to Carolyn and her crew. After storming out of the cabin previously, she and Douglas had returned with Martin and Arthur, demanding an explanation. Sherlock had been about to offer them one, but John had felt that it would be better if he did it.  
“6 more hours? What are we going to do for 6 hours in the plane?”  
“Well you’ve spent longer in a plane Douglas-we go on so many international trips!” said Arthur  
“Yes, but that’s different. Then, I’m flying. I’m doing something have nothing to occupy me now.”  
“Is that really your biggest concern, Douglas? Shouldn’t you be more worried about the background check? Your record can’t exactly be squeaky clean.” said Carolyn  
“Oh no, It is.” Replied Douglas earnestly.  
Martin snorted in disbelief.  
“Oh really?”  
“ Oh yes. May have done some minor rule-breaking here and there, but I take the caution of never getting caught .I’m quite positive that nothing _mauvaise_ will show up in my check .So, yes, my biggest concern at the moment is how I’m going to spend 360 minutes with 2 strangers, one annoying nutter,one Carolyn, and one idiot, in virtually the most boring place on the planet." Retorted Douglas drily.  
“Oh don’t be like that, Douglas” said Arthur cheerily “We’ll have loads of fun! We’ve got board games, and...Card games...and...We can make up our own games-it’ll be brilliant!”

Carolyn, Douglas and Martin all groaned in unison, while Sherlock and John looked on-Sherlock’s eyes narrowed in thought, and John’s in puzzlement. Each one of the 6 had a different expression on their face, but each one (except Arthur of course) was thinking the same thought:  
This was going to be a very long 320 minutes.

                                 * * * * *


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tense atmosphere aboard the plane turns into a lighter,more humorous one as boredom and frustration give way to board games and laughter.

“Okay, let’s see….We have...snakes and ladders..?” said  
Arthur, looking into the cupboard and pulling out boxes of board games one by one.  
After spending half-an-hour arguing and sulking about their situation, everybody aboard the plane had decided that, seeing as there was nothing they could do but wait, they might as well spend find a way to pass the time. Arthur had been the one to suggest a board game, and the others, after much persuasion, had agreed.Surprisingly,even Sherlock complied, saying that since he could not work, and he did not wish to die of boredom, he had no other choice but to go along with whatever ridiculous activity they decided upon.

“No.” said Martin “I always lose at snakes and ladders.” he muttered under his breath.  
“You always lose at everything-don’t blame the game, Martin.” said Douglas.  
Martin cast him a dirty look, but said nothing, while Arthur pulled out the next game.  
“Chess!”  
“Arthur, we are six people. Chess is a two-person game,” said Carolyn.  
“Not necessarily! Two people can play and the rest can tell them what moves to make. It’ll be a team effort!” he said happily.  
“No.”  
“All right...erm…Monopoly?”  
“Monopoly is an entirely pointless game.” Said Sherlock from his seat. Martin nodded in agreement, and was on the verge of voicing his similarity in opinion, when he caught Douglas smirking at him. He stopped himself immediately, and stared straight ahead, his lips pursed.

“Okay. Well then...ooh! How about Cluedo?”  
Sherlock, who all this while had been acting absolutely disinterested in the conversation, and sitting wordlessly (except for the occasional snarky comment) in the corner, suddenly sat up, his interest piqued.  
Before he could say anything, however, John unexpectedly yelled “NO!” loudly, startling the others.   
“Umm...” he began, embarrassed by his sudden outburst, as all their heads turned towards him in shock.   
“Sherlock and I just aren’t very fond of Cluedo...Right, Sherlock?” said John,looking pointedly at Sherlock,his voice a warning.  
Sherlock slumped back in his chair, glaring at John. But he didn't disagree, choosing instead to sulk. 

“Okay then,” said Douglas, turning back towards Arthur and the game cupboard, “What else have we got?”  
“We have Pictionary-that could be fun!”  
Carolyn scoffed “Not with your drawing skills it couldn’t.” she said.  
“Now now Carolyn,” said Douglas “Don’t mock him.I saw you the other day, trying to draw the MJN logo on a form, and I can assure you, Arthur’s drawing skills are entirely inherited.”  
Carolyn scowled, but Douglas went on, not giving her the opportunity to say anything.  
“However, this talk of Pictionary has reminded me of another game. Any chance we have Taboo in there, Arthur?”  
Arthur rummaged through the shelves. “Nope, sorry Douglas, no Taboo!”  
“Oh that’s all right,” Said Douglas, pulling out his phone “We have this space age technology called the internet these days,” he continued, searching something on Google.  
“Aha!” he said triumphantly, showing the screen to the others. It displayed a site where you could play the game online.

“All right,” said Carolyn “Is everyone fine with playing Taboo?”  
“Yes!” said Arthur cheerfully  
“Oh why not?” responded Martin  
“Sure, sounds good.” Replied John, while Sherlock muttered “Could be bearable.”  
“Jolly good” said Douglas.  
They then divided themselves into two teams of three-Sherlock, John, and, thanks to Douglas’ insistence, Martin, on one side, and Carolyn, Douglas and Arthur on the other.  
Douglas volunteered to go first, while Martin kept time.  
“Okay Douglas, ready? Your time starts now!”  
“Right! This item is what you use when there is water falling from the sky.”

“Water falling from the sky? What like a waterfall or something in the clouds?” asked Arthur  
“No, you clot, he means rain!” said Carolyn  
“Oh! What do you wear when it’s raining? Uhh a rain coat! Or a poncho! Or a plastic bag!”  
“Oh good lord,” said Carolyn, her patience wearing thin, “the answer’s umbrella!”

“Yes, thank you! Next one-oh! A game we play! It’s called the travelling..?”  
“Lemon!”

“Exactement!okay this one might be a bit hard-he is a man who acts, and his name is something you do to eggs for breakfast.”  
“Stephen Fry!”  
“No-another one!”  
“Umm...ooh Kevin Bacon!”  
“No Carolyn! He’s British! And his last name’s funny-it sounds very similar to cabbage patch”  
“What kind of name is that?” said Carolyn, perplexed  
“Ooh! I think I know! Benedict Cumberbatch!”  
Douglas and Carolyn stared at him, their mouths open in disbelief.  
“How on earth did _you_ guess that?” said Carolyn, utterly bewildered by his ability to answer something she couldn’t.  
“I saw him on TV the other day! I thought his name was really interesting, so I remembered it!” he said, beaming.  
“Remarkable!”  Said Douglas He turned his attention back towards the game, but just then, Martin shouted “Time’s up!”

From the other team, John decided to go first. Douglas handed him the phone, and Arthur started the timer.  
“Okay first one.Oh! Sherlock-fill in the blank-dash cameos!”  
“Vatican!” answered Sherlock immediately.

“Correct! Okay...umm...these are...consumable items...that grow on trees…”  
“You’ll have to be a bit more specific than, John.”  
“Right...er...oh! It’s the poisoned thing that Snow White takes a bite out of!”  
“Apple!” said Martin. 

“Yes! Next-oh this is easy, not for you though, Sherlock. Martin-who’s the current Queen of England?”  
“Queen Elizabeth!”  
“Right! Okay this one’s-”  
“Sorry, time’s up!” said Arthur.  
“Ahh all right. Well done, guys.” He said, smiling at his team.  
“Yeah, you too. But err..” said Martin, hesitating slightly and looking a bit puzzled “ That part-the Queen bit-why did you say it wasn’t for Sherlock? I mean,” he continued, turning towards Sherlock “Surely you know who the queen is?”

Sherlock tightened his jaw. “No, I do not. It’s not important.”  
Martin looked aghast. “Not important??But she’s the Queen of England!”  
“Yes. But she is no way important to my work, which is the only thing that matters. I don’t see how knowing the name of an arbitrary monarch is useful to me in any way.”  
“But...but...” stuttered Martin, unable to come up with an adequate response in his bewilderment.  
“Oh let it go, Martin.” Said Carolyn.  
“It’s my turn now!” she took the phone from John and began.

* * *

 “Is anyone else as utterly bored of this game as I am?” said Douglas, putting down his phone.

Martin raised his hand “So bored.” He said  
“So am I” said Carolyn.  
They had been playing for an hour and a half now and, needless to say, had grown tired of the game. Sherlock had given up on it a while ago, and was in his seat, doing something on his phone.  
“What’re you doing Sherlock?” asked John  
Sherlock didn’t answer. He sat there, his hand drumming restlessly on the armrest, and his gaze fixed almost unblinkingly at the screen.  
John knew that position and that look well enough-Sherlock was working on the case.

“Err... isn’t he going to say anything?” asked Martin, frowning slightly in confusion as he looked at Sherlock’s almost statuesque stillness, but at the same time smiling uncertainly as he tried to be polite.  
“Nope, afraid not,” replied John “He’s going through the case we’re investigating. Since we don’t really have any valuable information except the pictures of the crime scene, I suppose those are what he’s looking at. He’s a bit…unresponsive, when he’s concentrating.”  
“Right...” said Martin  
“Wow” said Arthur, his eyes wide with wonder as he looked at Sherlock.  
“Wow?”  
“Yeah-wow! That’s Sherlock Holmes working on a case! I can’t believe I’m actually looking at him deduce! He’s probably already solved it just by looking at the picture!” he responded excitedly

John smiled-Sherlock’s fans never failed to amuse him. It’s not that he was amused by the fact that Sherlock _had_ fans, as most people who knew how cold and rude he was were. John knew that what Sherlock did was brilliant, so it was no surprise to him that he had gained a few admirers over time. What made him laugh was Sherlock’s reactions to them.  
Martin rolled his eyes, but said nothing-he wasn’t going to dismiss Sherlock’s skills in the man’s presence! But, even though he didn’t believe what was said about his powers of deduction, Martin couldn’t help but be curious.

“So umm John...” he began “Is what everyone says true? Can he really take one look at a person and know everything about them?”  
John nodded “I know-it’s very hard to believe-but it is true” he said  
“But that’s impossible!”  
“No it isn’t” said Sherlock suddenly, glancing up from his laptop.  
Martin looked at him in surprise.  
“Oh, I didn’t realise you were listening to us” he said, slightly abashed. When Sherlock said nothing, he cleared his throat and said “So err...you can deduce everything about a person just from one look-how do you do that?”

“I simply observe.”  
“Would you care to elaborate?” said Douglas, suddenly interested in the conversation.  
“I observe people-their physical appearance, their clothes, their way of talking, their mannerisms, their behaviours-everything. I pay attention to every tiny detail about them-things hidden in plain sight that most others would fail to notice. Then I make connections between what I have seen and what I already know to fully understand the person’s ‘life story’, as you called it.”  
“Fascinating…” said Douglas “However, I’ll need to see it with my own eyes to believe it.”

"Well then I'm afraid you're going to be disappointed." responded Sherlock coldly.  
"Why?Have your powers of deduction stopped?Are you out of juice?" said Douglas cheekily  
"I am not a machine." said Sherlock,anger creeping into his voice " I am not some plaything you can just switch on whenever you are in need of entertainment.I possess one of the greatest minds on the planet! I have more important matters to attend to than your silly games."  
"Oh come on," said Douglas,unfazed by Sherlock's rising temper " You claim to have a 'great mind'-but you offer no proof!Now you're a detective,Mr.Holmes,you know that proof is paramount! "  
Sherlock grit his teeth "Fine." he said,his eyes narrowed.

“Woah hey wait a minute now there Douglas,” said John quickly-he knew Sherlock well enough to know that the sleuth was even more furious and vicious with his deductions when he was angry.  
“Are you sure you want that? Sherlock can be a bit, err, ruthless when he ‘deduces’ someone.” he warned.  
“Oh the thought occurred to me,” said Douglas “which is why I want him to deduce Martin instead.  
Martin started to protest, but it was too late.

Sherlock’s eyes had snapped away from Douglas and rested on Martin. They flitted from his face to his clothes to his hair to his hands, quickly moving as they observed every part of him, until they finally came to a halt, their rapidity transferred to Sherlock’s speech instead.

“You’re not well of at all. Your level of personal care is quite dismal but your uniform is in perfect condition-being a pilot is something you enjoy. You’re sleep deprived and constantly exhausted-common for a pilot but you display uncharacteristic signs of physical strain-so either you’re a sports enthusiast or you do some form of manual labour. Your miserable financial condition means you don’t get paid well, leading me to believe the latter. But why would you need an extra job? Being the captain in an airline should be a well-paying job…well, the fact that someon as incompetent as you is the captain, when your own first officer is a better pilot than you, is a mystery in itself…unless, of course, the two are related.You love this profession but you’re constantly told that you’re no good at it-maybe you were so desperate to become a captain you agreed to work without a salary-a last ditch attempt gaining something good out of a life that you otherwise find pathetic and meaningless. The state of the aeroplane suggests that any method to cut costs would be implemented, which serves as further proof for my theory.  
As for your personal life-well, you spend most of your time working so a good social life is improbable. You’re unmarried, and, seeing as you didn’t find the need to inform anybody of your current situation,coupled with the fact that you're socially inept with little status or wealth,or even attractiveness to make up for your other flaws, you’re not in a relationship with anyone.”

There was a stunned silence.

* * *

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Martin tries to deal with the blow that Sherlock delivered,as the others try to pacify him.Meanwhile,Sherlock and John have an unusual conversation as John discovers new things about Sherlock.Awkward moments,New Year celebrations,and misunderstandings ensue as the passengers and crew aboard GERTIE near the end of their long punishment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I FINALLY FINISHED THIS FIC!!! *loud cheers*  
> Honestly,this was supposed to be a New Year's thing,and I'm finishing it NOW.6 months later.GOD I'm hopeless.  
> But,nonetheless,it was extremely fun to write,and I hope you guys enjoyed it.Thank you to everyone who left kudos(es?) and comments-i love you you are the only reason i finished this thing.  
> Special thanks to raisintheta for helping me and giving me ideas!

Martin stared dumbly at Sherlock, stunned into a moment of incomprehension. Then slowly, his face turned from one of utter shock to one of anger and hurt. His eyes widened, and his eyebrows knitted, he clenched his fists and stormed out of the cabin and into the flight deck. Douglas sighed and went after him, followed by Arthur (who said ‘oh dear’ before running into the flight deck) and Carolyn (who muttered in annoyance and shook her head as she followed the rest of her crew).

John, meanwhile, remained in the cabin with Sherlock, his head bowed as he watched the crew of MJN Air walk out. When they had all exited, he turned to Sherlock.

“Why the bloody hell did you have to do that, Sherlock?” he said, visibly angry.   
“I only did what they wanted me to do.” responded Sherlock, his face betraying no emotion.   
“Don’t get clever with me now, there was absolutely no need for you to be so rude!”  
“They asked me to deduce him. I did so. I fail to see why everyone is so upset.”  
“You know bloody well why!” yelled John  
“What? Because I spoke the truth?” said Sherlock, his voice slightly raised  
“Yes! Exactly! This may come as a shock to you Sherlcok, but not all people appreciate you blurting out every detail of their lives! Especially not when you do it so horribly!”  
“Well then maybe they should have considered that before they forced me into it!” replied Sherlock angrily.  
John and Sherlock stared at each other, both of them furious.

Finally John relented. He sighed and said “Just go apologise, Sherlock.”  
“You know very well that that’s not going to happen.” said Sherlock, looking away from John.

John had known very well that that wasn’t going to happen. He got up and walked towards the flight deck, leaving Sherlock alone in the cabin. 

* * *

 

“Martin, c’mon, just-”

“No, Douglas I don’t want to hear it, I will NOT calm down. He just humiliated me so horribly!”

“Now now, Martin,” said Douglas “I know that love can often be difficult, but we mustn’t give up. I’m sure the man of your dreams didn’t mean to-”  
He was silenced by an infuriated glare from Martin and an annoyed (but somehow, even more deadly) one from Carolyn.

“Martin, stop crying,” she said “There’s no need to get so upset over something Sherlock Holmes said. You’ve seen the man-the way he acts. He’s cold and heartless. And he was angry-he just took it out on you.”

“Yes but what the hell did I do to piss him off? Why did he have to go off on me like that? What have I ever done to him that he needed to insult me so badly?”

“I don’t think Sherlock Holmes _looks_ for reasons to insult people, Martin, I think it just comes naturally to him. Just forget everything he said.” Said Carolyn

“Yeah Skip,” said Arthur “And besides, none of what he said was true!”

“Wasn’t it though?” said Martin, his voice suddenly soft and uncertain.

The other three exchanged glances-they knew where this conversation was heading now, and they wanted to stop it from going in that direction.

But before any of them could try stopping Martin’s descent into self-deprecation, John entered the deck.

There was a moment of awkward silence as the crew stopped their conversation abruptly and looked at him.  
He cleared his throat and spoke “I’m sorry to interrupt, but I just wanted to come and apologize to Martin.”  
Martin looked at John, still sulking, but not saying a word.

“I’m terribly sorry, Martin,” continued John “What Sherlock said was highly offensive, and he had absolutely no right to say something like that to you.”

“No he didn’t!” said Martin indignantly “He had no right! What’ve I ever done to him? What is his problem? Does he do that to everyone he meets? Gives a 5 minute monologue insulting everything about the person? I wouldn’t be surprised if he did actually, considering the fact that he’s a complete psychopath!”

John sighed “Martin...”

“The nerve of him! I mean, leaving aside the fact that he comes onto _my_ plane and insults _me_ ,” continued Martin, ignoring Carolyn’s look of utter disgust at the words “my plane”  
“He’s the reason we’re in this entire mess! We wouldn’t even be stuck on this stupid plane for six hours if it wasn’t for him! And I’ve been nothing but nice to him!”

“I know Martin!” said John loudly “I’m sorry.”

“Well that’s nice of you John,” said Douglas “Coming here and apologizing even though Sherlock is the one who committed this grievous crime. And why, may I ask, is the culprit himself not here?”

John exhaled-he had known they would ask him that.

“Well, err..” he said, unsure of how to explain to them that Sherlock was a rude ,obnoxious show off who had little regard for other people’s sentiments without making him sound like a complete, you know, _sociopath._

“Sherlock can be slightly insensitive at times...” he began, before being cut off by a loud snort from Martin.

“Okay, look, Martin,” he said, abandoning diplomacy “Sherlock is a prick. I know he is. He says horrible, insulting things without any regard for other peoples’ feelings, and he never apologizes because according to him, he’s doing the world a favour just by existing. But, in all fairness, he was provoked.”

Martin stared at John, taken aback.

“Provoked? Provoked?!” he said hotly “I didn’t do anything whatsoever to provoke him!”

“You didn’t,” admitted John “but Douglas did”

“Well then he should’ve gone off at Douglas!”

“Yes I know. But Sherlock doesn’t really think that way…he was just angry and he let it out. It’s what he does…not that I’m saying his behavior is acceptable!” he added quickly, as Martin looked like he was about to launch into another insulting rant about Sherlock.

“It’s not acceptable. In any way. But you shouldn’t expect an apology from Sherlock-he won’t do it. One reason being that he doesn’t realize to what extent the things he says can affect people, and the other being that well, frankly, he doesn’t care. And he thinks ‘apologies are for the weak’ or some other such rubbish. That’s why I’m here to apologize on his behalf. I know that what he did was absolutely horrible and demands an apology, and I know that he has too much bloody pride to accept that, so I take responsibility for his actions. Once again, I’m terribly sorry. Both for causing all this trouble and for hurting you.”   
And with that John exited the flight deck.  


  
“You don’t have to do that, you know,” said Sherlock quietly, once John had returned to his seat.

“Do what?” asked John, pulling a magazine out.

“Take responsibility for the things I do. Apologise for me.”

“Yes, well, someone has to.” He replied, glancing up briefly at Sherlock and then turning his eyes back to his magazine.

Sherlock looked away and the two were silent for a while.

“30 minutes.” said Sherlock suddenly

“Sorry?” said John

“30 minutes till midnight.”

“Oh” said John, looking at his watch “You’re right! Just 30 minutes till New Year’s. Well, this isn’t how I’d expected I’d be celebrating my New Year’s Eve.”

“True. I’d hoped to spend mine differently as well.” Replied Sherlock

“Yes, I know, you wanted to work on the case”

“No, actually, I had something different in mind,” said Sherlock   
John raised an eyebrow “Different? What did you plan on doing?”

“Well,” said Sherlock, looking away from John “I had planned on going to the Eiffel Tower. It would be terribly crowded, but there’s this bench on the edge of one side of the Palais de Chaillot opposite the Eiffel tower…” He pulled out his phone and unlocked it, swiping through pictures mindlessly and opening random apps only to exit them “…It’s right in front of the tower, so it gives the most magnificent view, but, since it’s partially hidden by a small crêpe stand, most people seem to miss it. It…” he continued, clearing his throat “…It’s quite a nice place to sit and I go there whenever I go to Paris. The crêpes from the stand in front of it are quite delicious as well.” He finished, staring intently at the back of the seat in front of him.

John stared at him, his mouth gaping slightly, unable to speak.

“John you might want to close your mouth, it’s disconcerting.”

“Right, yeah,” said John hurriedly shaking the look of shock off his face

“It’s just,” he said “I’ve never heard you say something like that before. I wasn’t aware that Sherlock Holmes was the type of man who found hidden benches to admire the view and eat crepes. It’s quite…fanciful.”

“Oh good heavens John you make it sound like I’m one of those new age sensitive idiots who go around writing poetry and ‘trying to find beauty this world.’ ” Said Sherlock disdainfully   
“I wasn’t consumed by wanderlust or some such nonsense, I actually found the place when I was a child.”

“When you were a child?” asked John

“Yes. We went on a family trip to Paris when I was 7 years old, and visited the Eiffel tower. I saw a pickpocket steal some man’s wallet and followed him out of curiosity. Unfortunately, I lost the thief amongst a throng of tourists. I considered going back to my parents, but the idea didn’t appeal to me too much as my parents were being romantic and insufferable and Mycroft was being, well, Mycroft. Then I noticed the bench and decided to sit there. After I while, I went back to my parents. Apparently, they had been searching for me for quite some time and had been very worried. Needless to say, they were very upset. We all went to the crêpe stand after they were done scolding me, and as a punishment, I was to be deprived of crêpes, while Mycroft got two. He looked far too happy with the prospect so I stole one of his while he was busy stuffing his face with the other” continued Sherlock, smiling softly   
“I remember enjoying it thoroughly, which is not something I do often when food is concerned. Hence, the few times I visited Paris after that, I went back to the same bench. Not because of nostalgia,” he added quickly “but because it’s practical. The bench is usually quite peaceful, considering its location, and it allows me to think quietly while still being able to admire the tower.”

He finally pulled his gaze away from the back of the seat and looked at John, who was grinning widely.

“That’s quite a nice story, Sherlock. You don’t usually talk about things from your childhood” he said

Sherlock rolled his eyes “Kindly spare me the Freudian analysis of my mention of a park bench in Paris, John” he replied

John just shook his head slightly and chuckled.

At that moment, Carolyn, Douglas, Arthur and Martin entered the room, holding bottles of champagne and glasses and a few plates of what seemed to be strudel.

“Hello chaps” said Douglas “I bring good news! Our lord and savior, the supreme commander of the skies, pilot Martin Crieff has decided to forgive the blasphemous comments of Mr. Sherlock Holmes” he said dramatically, while Martin cast him a dirty look.

“Oh really?” said John, smiling

“Yes,” said Martin “I thought about what you said, and it made sense. So I decided to let things go.”

“That’s great!” said John

“Yes. Thank you.” Mumbled Sherlock, looking down at his hands.

“Well now that we’ve all finished making amends,” said Carolyn, lifting up the bottle of champagne “shall we pop the bubbly?” she said ,her eyes twinkling with a kind of delight that only the anticipation of alcohol could give.

“No wait Mum!” said Arthur “We have to wait till midnight!”

“Oh come on Arthur,” began Carolyn

“No Carolyn, Arthur’s quite right” said Martin “The champagne is to celebrate the New Year.”

Carolyn lowered the bottle of sparkling wine in disappointment.

“How long till midnight?” she asked

“Just fifteen minutes” replied Martin

“We can have some strudel till then!” said Arthur cheerfully, giving a plate of strudel to everyone.

The strudel wasn’t particularly good, but they all smiled nonetheless. The sudden approach of New Year’s had lifted everyone’s spirits, and they seemed to have momentarily forgotten their messy ordeal. Even Sherlock managed to have a bite, and go an entire 15 minutes without an ounce of sarcasm or scorn.

Arthur, who had been looking eagerly at his watch the entire time, yelled loudly when it was almost 12.

“Everyone! Just 10 seconds left!”

Everyone halted their conversation and began chanting numbers backwards from 10, till the clock struck twelve and they all cried “Happy New Year’s!”

Carolyn popped open the bottle of champagne and poured a glass for everyone (except Arthur, of course, who had apple juice instead).They all shook each other’s hands, wishing one another a happy new year, and drank merrily.

* * *

  
*Bing Bong*

The cabin address system rang and woke John from the deep slumber that he had fallen into after their celebrations had ended an hour and a half ago. He kept his eyes shut-he wasn’t particularly happy about having been woken up, he’d been having quite a nice nap. His head was resting on something soft…that was odd. He didn’t remember getting a pillow…whatever it was though, it smelled nice. He opened his eyes to see what it was and found himself looking at gray fabric…the fabric seemed to part of a suit…suddenly, realization hit him. He jolted up straight and leaned away from Sherlock, whose shoulder he had fallen asleep on.

Sherlock seemed unfazed, but his grip on his phone was unusually tight and he was staring at the screen with what seemed to be forced concentration.  
John looked at him, unsure of what to do. Should he just let it slip, and not bring it up at all? Sherlock would probably appreciate not having to deal with an awkward conversation. But then again, he had had to keep his arm still while John slept blissfully on it for an hour and a half-he deserved an apology.

Before John could finish contemplating and arrive at a decision, however, Douglas began to speak on the cabin address.

“Gentlemen, the time has finally arrived,” said Douglas melodramatically “The moment that for the past 6 hours we have so eagerly been waiting for has come at last. As I sit here, a participant in this glorious moment-“

“What Douglas means to say,” said Martin, cutting short Douglas’s theatrical speech “Is that we have just been informed that the background check has been completed, and it has shown nothing suspicious. We are now free to disembark the plane. So hooray!”

“Oh thank heavens” said John, letting out a sigh of relief. Finally the nightmare was over.

“Brilliant” said Sherlock, literally jumping out of his seat and pulling out his bag from the overhead carrier. He put on his coat and gathered all his things rapidly, preparing to leave immediately.

“Hold on a minute Sherlock, slow down,” said John, still seated  
“We can’t just leave like that.”

“And why not?” said Sherlock

“We have to say goodbye to the MJN crew before we leave.”

Sherlock scowled.   
“That is utterly pointless, they are aware that we are leaving and I see no need to-”  
“You might not, but we still have to. We just spent 6 hours on a plane with them, a disastrous affair they had to deal with it because of us. We owe them a proper goodbye, Sherlock.”

John got up from his seat and walked to the flight deck, Sherlock walking behind him.

They entered the deck and found Carolyn, Douglas, Arthur and Martin inside.

“Hello chaps” said Douglas “Come to bid farewell?”

John laughed “Yes, I’m afraid so, Douglas.”

“Thank you Carolyn,” he said, shaking hands with her “for being so patient with us. And once again, I am truly sorry for all the trouble we’ve caused you.”

“Ah well, it’s over now. All’s well that ends well.” She replied

“Douglas, Martin, Arthur” he said, shaking hands with them as well “It was nice meeting you all. The plane ride could have been a lot worse, but it wasn’t all that bad, thanks to you chaps”

They all shook hands and smiled in return.

“Do have fun in Paris” said Douglas

“Yes,” quipped Martin “Even though you’re here on business, the city is absolutely beautiful-especially for a nice couple.”

John stopped in his tracks, the smile wiped off his face.

“Couple?” he said quizzically

“Yes, you and Sherlock. Paris is the city of romance, after all!” replied Martin amiably

“Oh no no no no,” said John “I’m afraid you’ve got things a bit mixed up- Sherlock and I aren’t a couple!”

“What?” said Martin, perplexed.   
“But Arthur said that the two of you live together!”

“Yes, we do-we’re flat mates! We’re not together-we’re just friends!”

“Who share a home and spend their lives solving crimes together?” said Douglas, raising an eyebrow

“Yes! Well, if you put it that way, it sounds like we’re a couple. But we’re not. Honestly. I actually have a girlfriend!”

“Really?” said Douglas, his eyebrow still up “You know John, you have nothing to be afraid of, and people today are very accepting-”

“No, Douglas-no! I’m not lying, really! Sherlock,” said John, frantically turning to Sherlock “Tell them we’re not a couple. And that I actually have a girlfriend.”

Sherlock sighed, utterly bored with the conversation “The relationship John and I share is completely platonic.” He said dully “And John has intercourse with a female on a regular basis.”

“Well, all right, if you say so.” Said Martin   
“Yes, our apologies for mislabeling you.” Added Douglas

“It’s all right” said John, relieved.   
“Well then, we’ll be off now” he said “Bye everyone!”

Sherlock said goodbye as well, and thanked Carolyn, before he and John gathered their things and exited the flight.

                                                                                                       * * * * *

(4 days later)

“Good morning, Douglas.” Said Martin   
“Morning, Martin. Did you read todays’ paper?”

“No, why?”

“Take a look for yourself” said Douglas, handing Martin the newspaper   
“Genius Detective Does It Again” said Martin, as he read the headline aloud “ ‘Sherlock Holmes solves another tricky case with his partner John Watson, this time in Paris.’ Well-good for them! Looks like he really is a genius”

“Yup! And on page 4, there’s a rather interesting article on his curious personal life. You know what else he is, besides a genius, Martin?”  
“What?”  
“Single.”  
Martin groaned “Oh no don’t start that again, Douglas!”  
“Oh but come on Martin! You know you like him. He’s single, you’re single-why not change that? You deserve to be happy!” said Douglas, with the air of a teenager discussing their high school crush.

Martin groaned again, and groaned for a third time, even louder, as he saw Carolyn and Arthur enter the flight deck, both of them holding up a copy of the newspaper.

“Martin look! The boy you fancy is on the front page!” said Carolyn with mock excitement

“Yeah skip! He solved the case! He’s the best detective in the world! And you’re the best pilot! You two are meant to be together!” said Arthur with genuine excitement

“Oh good heavens” muttered Martin, burying his head in his hands

“Oh come on Martin! Don’t you want to be with the man who ‘played a thrilling game of cat and mouse with the _coupable dangereux_ ’ who was terrorizing Paris? The man with _l’intelligence incroyable?_ ” said Douglas, quoting the newspaper “And not only does he have the brains, he has the beauty as well!” he continued, reading from page 4, “His powers of deduction make the hearts of criminals palpitate, and his eyes do the same to women everywhere! Not to mention his lean figure and gorgeous curls. _Intelligence incroyable_ AND _chevaux gorgeux_?Ooh la la!”

“I’m not listening to this drivel.” Said Martin, turning away from Douglas, while Carolyn and Arthur shared a hearty laugh.

Douglas sighed tragically “Well then it looks like I’ll have to call poor Sherlock up and tell him you won’t be meeting him for dinner tonight.”  
Martin turned back to him, looking completely horrified “Douglas what on earth did you-”

“Relax! I’m only pulling your leg!” said Douglas, as he turned his seat towards the controls and started getting ready for takeoff.

                                                                                                                        * * * * *

                                                                                                                       The End.

                                                                                                                         * * * * * 


End file.
